Life has given me obstacles but I bite my tongue and say it's wonderful

Perhaps this is the only reason this person ever came into my life. To teach me how to endure such obstacles (aka shit la)



Suddenly I crave the sudden silence of waking up in the morning in the cold weather under a thick quilt just listening to the sound of nothingness. I only ever got that in Australia. Sleeping in the basement in TN doesn't count. Anyway, I miss that feeling of knowing your whole day is just planned by others. You have no commitments but just to show up at the breakfast table and put on a (fake) smile on your face. Just enjoying the stillness and the slow creaking of wooden floorboards. It just gave me that inner peace with myself albeit the boredom that usually followed.

I miss the cold breeze on my face (which kind of hurt but oh well) and just slowly making my way around the house/street. People who passed me by always smiled or said something pleasant which obviously means a lot more if you appreciate the finer things in life. I wish I hadn't complained so much while I was there (and yet if you put me in the same position now, I probably would again). I miss going out with the family and forgetting that there is hurt elsewhere in the world just waiting for me to return. Those evenings spent in the parks or just wandering around the roads of Melbourne. I miss you so much.



I wish I had more patience for things but I know it wouldn't be like me anyway. I wish I had never done a lot of things I did. But yes, life is meant to teach you it's lessons and it's up to you when you choose to learn them.

I just wish the most painful of all didn't have to come so fast.