IHU Darren Bent btw.

Concentrating less and less on work these days. It's frustrating and deeply worrying. My mind isn't in it's right place and my concentration is wandering to other activities and problems that university work has taken a backseat. I hardly find the appeal in doing anything university related anymore and the stupid thing about it is, I don't care. I would rather be out walking/jogging, sketching my own little doodles, writing personal pieces, blogging than sitting down and sketching out ideas for Creative Advert. Design class.

I feel deeply lost and without a want to turn to anyone for help. I don't want to be called weak and helpless. I don't want to be judged. It's so difficult to find someone to turn to at this moment because, I don't know who to turn to. I am looking into a sea of faces which are all swirling around and I cannot really make out a clear face to call out to. I want to reach out and cry for help but at the same time, I want to prove to people that I can dig myself out of this rut and that I can pick myself up and walk away from this moment with a smile on my face. Right now, I am still sitting in the mud puddle, slowly sinking.

I don't know what it is which I need that will save me. Is it a friend? concerned family member? more time alone? Divine intervention? I don't know. I need to find an absolution soon before I go completely off my rocker. I don't know who to trust to be honest. I really don't. Who really is sincere now? No one but myself? I am lost & slowly descending into a slow spiral of insanity.