I wanna secure a bright future for myself.

North Carolina / Tennessee border (2007) - by me.

It's weird sometimes how you feel like you have everything figured out; right out the very last second and then suddenly the scenario changes. It's that sometimes wonderful, sometimes painful subjectivity of life when we're forced out of our comfort zones to make changes that we may not want. The wonderful thing about this probability is that sometimes, you may end up thanking yourself that you didn't stick with your first plan. I'm sure everyone's had a moment like that at some point of their lives. My plans might have just taken a hard left too.



It's Nisha's 20th Birthday today. We'll probably head out to dinner later this evening. I spent it with her and Thinesh last night at his new place in Kemuning. It's a nice apartment from what I got to see anyway. The pool is massive so I'm gonna try and score some swim time soon ... if not, the one in Cyberia is perfectly adequate too.



There is a certain who I'd love to spend time with now. And I can safely say that it's come to a point where I was semi obsessed and getting pre-depression symptoms due to this feeling. However, at the same time I really don't want to see this person because of the fear that I may disappoint them in certain aspects of my life. It's a very stupid debate I hold in my mind every time I consider calling up and asking "where have you been?". The end product is usually me telling myself to suck it in and take it like a man. LOL. And we'll wait for a better day.

Sometimes I wish we didn't have to obey to social norms like these. That one has to be 'strong-willed' to get through the daily muck ups life gives us. If we could just be WEAK and VULNERABLE for a day and still have things go our way or smoothly. Seriously. Who gives a crap about what you say or do ... and why should they judge you. If you have good intentions then I'm sure nothing will go wrong. Sadly, that isn't the case in today's society. People are always second guessing your every move and will try to see the motive behind it. Not everyone out there is a wolf in sheep's clothing. But I digress. My point here is debated by centuries of reinforcement of douche bags, con(wo)men, liars, cheaters, and whatnot. There probably isn't any place on Earth for innocence anymore ... or at least after the age of 12. LOL.