I was too ... lethargic.

You know you're Malaysian When:

You're willing to consume sambal petai and durian and gladly suffer the bloating and wind-breaking incidents.

But, petai is AWESOME.

You order Maggi goreng and fried chicken, complain about how oily the food is, and then proceed to finish it anyway.

LOL. Again, but Maggi goreng is AWESOME

You love to talk about food. You're already thinking about what to have for dinner while eating lunch. "I'm stuffed. What shall we have for dinner?"

I know. My mum is a perfect example.

You dive into a communal-style meal the moment the dish lands on the table only to hesitate at the last morsel of food on the serving dish. There are two possible explanations for this: the first is the pai seh (embarrassed) factor, while the other is the myth that the person who eats the last piece will be a spinster.

Really? I didn't know about the 2nd explanation. I don't eat it cause I believe the first pick was the best? LOL but it doesn't bother me so much.

You hit the accelerator the moment the first drop of rain hits your windshield. "Alamak, it's going to rain. Sure traffic jam one. I'd better drive faster."

No lah!

You seize the opportunity to make a U-turn anywhere ... especially where there is a sign telling you not to. Well, so long as the cops aren't in sight.

Guilty. HEY! I don't wanna drive another 10km down the poorly planned highway!

You feel a burning desire to send text messages and even have the gall to give your friend a blow-by-blow account of the movie to your friend on the handphone ? during the screening of the movie. "Okay, now that girl Lizzie is impersonating an Italian singer; she so doesn?t look Italian ..."

It depends. But not with the whole movie thing.

You forsake your loved ones for the all-important four letter-word: S-A-L-E. "Sorry, mum, I can't take you to Aunt Mary?s because I have to go to MidValley before the crowd." You?re also more than happy to be part of the insane traffic jam that forms around malls during weekends and sale periods.

No lah, Thankfully I'm not an avid shopper.

Reality shows like Akademi Fantasia and Malaysian Idol dictate your social life. "What, no TV at the mamak? Count me out ? I'm staying home. Rinie needs my support."

HAHA I know some people like this. I can't be bothered.

You pepper every sentence with lah. "No-lah, I can't see you today-lah. I have to study-lah. You know-lah, the prison warden aka mak is watching me like a hawk"

You don't even need to mention this.

You fail to function normally without your daily dose of teh tarik and nasi lemak.

Used to. Now I need Limau Ais and Bihun Goren. OMG.

You have owned at least one Proton in your lifetime. Cheap, cheap. That is until you start to make enough dough to buy that Honda you've been salivating over.

No lah, We're pro Perodua. LOL! Protons can kiss my ass.

You'd rather park your car along the main road outside the mall, where there's a yellow line, rather than pay RM1 to park inside where there are adequate bays.

FORGET THIS. PARK INSIDE GODDAMIT.

You plead, bat your eyelids and relate a sob story to the officer at the town council office to let you off the hook (or reduce the amount considerably) for the fine you incurred when you parked your car on the double line.

Bleh, I just told her off. Stupid incompetent retard.

You make an appointment for 10am and conveniently show up a half hour late ? Malaysian time, what ...

Exactly. Malaysian Local Time.

You pop open the wet tissue packet at the Chinese restaurant by squeezing the trapped air to the top of the packet before proceeding to smash your fist into it. The louder the pop the better.

HAHA, when I was a kid anyway.

You greet your friend / neighbor / acquaintance on the street with "How are things?" or "Have you eaten?" or better yet, by stating the obvious: "Went to market ah?"

LOL! It depends. If they're local then yeah. I tried it with foreign friends and they were like "Why do you care if I'm hungry?" :D

Ramlee burger is the "piece de resistance" of your growing-up-years cuisine.

Hmm. No la ... Chicken Rice. Ramlee is my sisters vice.

You catch all major televised events at the mamak.

Only EPL mah. Even then, with Astro at home in HD, who needs milo ais? LOL!

You have roughly six meals a day (breakfast, mid-morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper). Then there's the snacking ? keropok ikan, pisang goreng, muruku, jam tarts and the like.

Oh. My. Gaw. I miss keropok lekor ... with goreng pisang. And air kelapa. On a hot day. SHIT!

Your accent and language style vary according to the race of the person you are conversing with.

True, true. I like messing with people. But for the most part, I keep it standard. No one needs a faker on their hands :) Speak teh Inggeris.

You diss our country all the time, but as soon as something good happens (like winning the Thomas Cup), you morph into a proud Malaysian.

Haha. Or when Malaysia and Singapore played in the Tiger Cup. Woahz.

You never travel abroad without a bottle of chilli sauce, or sachets which you can sneak into restaurants.

Mum did this once. It was a LIFE SAVER!

Some things you can't live without.