I could cry

Because I suddenly feel as if I'll lose you. I'm scared and worried for many reasons more than one. I feel the lump in my throat grow larger and my palms are now sweaty. I feel as if we're living on borrowed time. And when you borrow something, you have to give it back. Is this the payment? You? I don't know but I need some assurance that something will happen soon. I feel like everything is tossed around in a large washing machine of life. Everything is now spinning and it won't stop unless someone presses that "stop" button. What happens now? Where do we go from here? I may be a paranoid individual but I'd rather keep my worries with me rather than to wander aimlessly without a direction because I am of course, scared after all.

& in other news, the internet sucks today lol. Back to bumming.