Sometimes

Sometimes you wish your spirit would surpass your feelings and emotions and would let you take off into the distance without having to have concern of what you leave behind. Or in simpler words: I don't want to be so damn emotional anymore.

I depend too heavily on people's approval to make my day better. I don't know why. It's been a habit since the moment I opened my eyes. And yet, while this people pleasing chromosome is floating about in my body, the stubbornness and anger of wanting to have everything my way gets in the way and it's kind of oxymoronic if you think about it. Do I need to reevaluate my life? Hell yes? But I am attracted to the chaos too. I love the feeling of discord and disdain for some odd reason. It is a little morbid. I need this out of my system really badly. I don't think I lead the best life I can lead due to this mindset.

... oh and I wanna lose 10 pounds.