Wonder why I don't talk about my life much anymore. I notice it's just a constant flurry of images of various events in post after post. The occasional things-i-want-to-say-but-can't-so-i-let-tumblr-images-do-the-talking posts. That's pretty bleak. So let's talk about life and it's cards I've been handed lately.



First off, I've been trying so desperately to get healthier as of late. I know, crack a joke here for your own entertainment. I'm probably not doing a good job seeing as the scale still scorns at the sight of me BUT I have gotten some reassuring compliments from friends and family (most recently being my grandmother who is somewhat looks conscious who said "wow! you look better each time I see you Alison!") so I must be doing SOMETHING right. P.S I wouldn't eat that salad. It's just eww. I have my limits. Anyway, yes. Getting healthier has to take a front seat in my truck of priorities this year.



As far as university goes, I'm not VERY behind in work but I'm not the most diligent student you'll find walking around. I'm average I guess. I'm not panicking just yet but I probably will start soon. LOL. I always do. Still, on some days I have my doubts and wonder why I chose this path I'm on (education wise). I don't regret and never will. I'm having loads of fun but I just have that moment of when I sit down and go "huh, I wonder why I did this. I mean I was never particularly creative when I was in school." Perhaps I'm a late bloomer.



Everything else is working fine I guess. Family's doing good. Dad occasionally snaps at me and I'd sulk for a day, insulting him in all kinds of ways in my head but we'd eventually get over it. Mum's fine as well. She has her ups and downs as we all do. Michelle is entering that age when the term "social life" starts to play a part in her life. She's been hanging around friends a lot more lately which is good for her too I suppose.



In other aspects of the personal life, that's all going well too. Arguments, drama, fights, consolations (is that what you'd call it? LOL when you console someone?), feeling better afterward and just laughing it off. Obviously gaining new experiences is always fun. Getting familiar with families and whatnot. It's all so new to me but it's still something to enjoy at the end of the day even if it ends in tears. Somehow a smile follows ... after a day or two ... bah. But it's all still fun in it's own way. I learn new things about people and myself at the same time. On some days I just want to strangle myself and just leave all this crap behind and tell myself it's all not worth it. Just leave.

Then I'm reminded why I got into this in the first place. Nothing is all rainbows and butterflies except ... rainbows and butterflies. If shit happens, pat myself on the back and tell myself that I had the guts to try it out anyway. I at least owe myself that. People really have a way of looking inside you and just reaching in and just grabbing that thumping heart and are free to do whatever they want with it. Or well, that's just me anyway. I feel too much. Tell you something you don't know. LOL.



All in all, 2009 is shaping up to be a pretty alright year for me. There's been some tremendous lows but I love my highs. I achieved more than I thought I'd be able to in these last 9 months than what I gave myself credit for. My next mission: to find my spiritual self. Woozah!

via

Mmm, damn I miss eating these. We had some in Australia in abundance due to my aunts neighbours tree which was overbearing with fruit. All we had to do was stand in the backyard and wait for them to fall. Lulz. August is rolling in, Spring will be here any time now.



Classes officially start tomorrow (actually, today) and I have no idea when or what my first class is. Uni decided to be a jackass and not release our timetable till Monday/today. And so I don't even know if it's in the afternoon or morning and I could be wasting my entire day away there. How useless.

Sad thing is, on the eve of my return to uni, my body decides to play a cruel prank and fall sick. I'm suffering a rather harsh cough and sorethroat and all I can hope out of it is that I gain an awesome deep scratchy voice ... because it sounds smexy. LOL. But really though, I really feel the need to get myself a mask for classes. I don't want to get any sicker and I don't wanna spread what I have too.

Another shitty thing is that my gag reflex has been on the fritz as of late. I occasionally feel the need to hurl and when in public, perhaps not a good feeling to go through. I blame the damn cough. Lovely timing la Alison.



Random. Just felt like it. Hallo baby me!

Perhaps this is the only reason this person ever came into my life. To teach me how to endure such obstacles (aka shit la)



Suddenly I crave the sudden silence of waking up in the morning in the cold weather under a thick quilt just listening to the sound of nothingness. I only ever got that in Australia. Sleeping in the basement in TN doesn't count. Anyway, I miss that feeling of knowing your whole day is just planned by others. You have no commitments but just to show up at the breakfast table and put on a (fake) smile on your face. Just enjoying the stillness and the slow creaking of wooden floorboards. It just gave me that inner peace with myself albeit the boredom that usually followed.

I miss the cold breeze on my face (which kind of hurt but oh well) and just slowly making my way around the house/street. People who passed me by always smiled or said something pleasant which obviously means a lot more if you appreciate the finer things in life. I wish I hadn't complained so much while I was there (and yet if you put me in the same position now, I probably would again). I miss going out with the family and forgetting that there is hurt elsewhere in the world just waiting for me to return. Those evenings spent in the parks or just wandering around the roads of Melbourne. I miss you so much.



I wish I had more patience for things but I know it wouldn't be like me anyway. I wish I had never done a lot of things I did. But yes, life is meant to teach you it's lessons and it's up to you when you choose to learn them.

I just wish the most painful of all didn't have to come so fast.

Pics from Singapore. As I am too tired to relive it.


Making our Xabi banner


It's a working progress!


While watching the Illusionist

















I'm convinced the guy on the left looks like George Eads.

















Yesm.

by me :)





Days are getting better now I suppose. Not as many arguments. I think they know to back the hell off now. I think I have a new found & somewhat delayed appreciation for Atif Aslam's music. Not all his stuff appeals to me of course. Just the slower numbers. I think when you hear it continuously for some time, it begins to grow on you. There's some stuff I'll never like though but his songs aren't all that bad. Damn you Sociology/Anthropology/The Nanny Diaries for putting these scenarios in my head. I feel the need to write a massive thesis on this when this chapter of my life has passed me by.

We're going to Penang in about a week for a few days for a mini break and ... I guess to rediscover my 'Peranakan' roots. We're staying at the Copthorne Hotel which looks pleasantly decent. Mum said it's a 4 star hotel so it can't be all that bad. I'm gonna hit the pool obviously as I've taken a deep liking for swimming lately (but having Kinna around makes it better LOL). Also, we'll be hitting the markets for food. How can you go to Penang and not discover all the good food there is. I'm still wondering if I should bring the laptop along or just be disconnected from the www. while I'm gone. Hmm.

Long day on the 16th. Won't bother going into detail what happened but I'm glad the day turned out the way it did :)


Le start to the day. Waiting on Kavi at her place LOL.


LKW's no smoking campaign revitalized? Nah I don't think so. There were people smoking IN FRONT of this signboard cussing at it haha. Wrote something for Ziad and Adeel. Kinna added something in too :D


Kinnaz


Capt. Deep /Kavi


Ziad and I


Nisha. Le camwhore.


Sami 'broken bibe'


Rare.


Random Hindi movie moment?


Dinner at Saba' / In the middle: The confused Middle Easterners


In the Indian Corner, Nisha and Kavidha.


Adeel, Zain and Ziad in the Pakistani corner.

(not pictured in the random Cina corner: me)

Went to Cyber again yesterday thanks to Thinesh/T-man who drove me and Nisha down. ("Can get to Cyber without paying a single toll you know"). Met up with Kinna and her friend Ika. Her apartment's electricity had been cut off due to late payments in bills but it was back up by 5PM thankfully. I remember those nights. Yes. Not good.

Anyway, me and Nisha went over to Ziad and Adeel's place. We/I finally watched Slumdog Millionaire on Ziad's laptop. It makes me appreciate the soundtrack so much more now of course. Ika and Kinna came along but didn't stay long because Kinna had basketball practise. Then Thinesh came back with the both of them after an hour or so. Everyone hung out then the rest of us left for dinner at Saba' (again) while the guys stayed back to watch cricket (go figure). It was a rather big dinner party though. Kinna, Ika, Nisha, Myself, Devina, Shaz, Ibrahim, Sami, Sanat and Usman. Bumped into Izzy on the way there too. That's someone I haven't met in a while. Wonder how Bob from Libya is doing. LOL. Papa took me and Nisha home :) I left my sunnies in the loo which Devina thankfully found. haha. I'm that lame.

Also, KG comes home today! WHOMG! I cannot, CANNOT wait to meet him.

I'mma call this my long day in Cyberjaya. As I miss it so much.
Swimming, hanging out, just talking. Nothing beats that really.


Putrajaya Botanical Gardens


Sunset at Cyberia.

I'm addicted to Imma Be from the Black Eyed Peas. Someone lend a hand?
(p.s. I got my hair cut :D)

source

Sometimes, I wonder: Who am I really? Am I doing the right things? Do I make good choices? And if I am, who's to say I'm right or wrong. How is it I'm still here and relatively sane?

It's just one of those days when I sit down and think about life and just question it all. Question everything. It's probably not a good thing to do but I believe if you do it sometimes, it's a healthy process. It helps me get my life in perspective and see how I've gotten to come so far.

Anyway, I've got a whole day planned out to be spent in Cyber/Putrajaya with the girls + guy so I'll just get ready now and have a wonderful day (inshallah)