This baby seal shall remind me of better days to come. We'll be alright. It just takes time and a lot of patience. Bad days are abundant but we'll pull through as usual and everything is just moving along anyway. So just roll over. Smile. And blink! :)

(this is oddly cheerful of me)

I miss times. Many times. Times of happiness, romance, intense talks, silence with calm, everything. It all feels like a lifetime ago when I had that. I miss my life then, but I love it now too. I feel like an adult now and with some authority in hand with respect (I hope!), I can only hope to climb higher. In terms of work, my boss has given me the green light to seek out an intern to assist me in my designing workload. It's awesome to finally hear this but whether I can FIND anyone is a different story. Let's hope for the best.

365 Days. Different year, different person, different problem, different life.
It's been a rough journey getting here and my journey isn't done yet. I'm still on it and I am still figuring who I am inside (and out). I wish things had turned out differently. I wish I had done things differently and I wish I hadn't made the mistakes I have but it's made me who I am right now. I don't hate myself but I know I can be a lot better. I don't want to depend on anyone anymore. I don't need anyone. I just need myself. My own ideas, my own efficiency and my own strength. I can't rely on anyone to keep me happy/sane anymore. I did, and I am feeling the after effects of it. But as slowly as someone falls, they do come back up again and I'm hoping for that time to come along. So, moving on. Moving forward and never turning back.

Oh, Happy Birthday Alison :)

Dear Adam,


Marry Me. Please?


Love,
Alison.

(a million xoxo's)










.... What? A girl can dream can't she?

When I did, no one listened. Now, I don't. Cheerio!

Sometimes you wish your spirit would surpass your feelings and emotions and would let you take off into the distance without having to have concern of what you leave behind. Or in simpler words: I don't want to be so damn emotional anymore.

I depend too heavily on people's approval to make my day better. I don't know why. It's been a habit since the moment I opened my eyes. And yet, while this people pleasing chromosome is floating about in my body, the stubbornness and anger of wanting to have everything my way gets in the way and it's kind of oxymoronic if you think about it. Do I need to reevaluate my life? Hell yes? But I am attracted to the chaos too. I love the feeling of discord and disdain for some odd reason. It is a little morbid. I need this out of my system really badly. I don't think I lead the best life I can lead due to this mindset.

... oh and I wanna lose 10 pounds.