This is how my laptop looks like. Endless files on Photoshop. Saved, re-edited, saved again, exported as PDFs, emailed back and forth. I can't take this shiz anymore. I've been working since 2PM and my brains are just about melted into salted goo.

I've been thinking a lot lately. Surprisingly amidst the workpile (which I am so sinfully avoiding), I have time to reflect and predict and all those things. I really feel like I should move out soon. Not in a the whole "Im being rebellious Mom and Dad hah!" way. I do feel like I need my own space to grow now. I spend most of my days away from home, and when I do get back it's always filled with negativity from all spectrum's. Maybe I've outgrown my welcome? I don't know. I just feel like I need to be on my own now. My own job, my own responsibilities and my own calls in what I do. I don't think I can contribute anymore to this household but more difficulties so I should just get out of their way.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this and there's nothing wrong at all. I don't know.



Went to MAYA with Ziad last night. Well, if you understand Tamil and are into the whole music scene, then I would think you had tonnes of fun. If you're like me, who expected it to be more like last years event which was more Hindi/English based, you would have thrown your ticket to the ground after ripping it up hoping that no one would be around to watch you pee on it (with Zain as my inspiration). It was ... bleh. I wish I had spent my RM20 on a meal at Dominoes (WHICH we would have done in the first place). Sorry guys, I ain't attending anymore MAYA's.



I swear to God, this poster is just ... yeah nevermind. The next event on my list: Halloween Night. Battle of the Freaks. Also held in Limkokwing. Party starts on the 4th of November. Hope it goes well. Can't take another letdown ;)

Mon assignment. I love it.

Here's a wishlist from me. I dunno why but I just felt like making one. Yeps.

1. Cesc Fabregas



OMNOMNOM. So much eye candy.

2. Chalkboard paint.



How awesome would it be to able to scribble on your walls till kingdom come?

3. Owl necklace.



I've been wanting this since earlier this year.

4. This is a twofer. Better physique and longer hair.



5. Acceptance.

Who did you last shoot a dirty look at?
Dad. For being a dad.

What kind of car do you drive?
Kelisa. :) And I love it.

Have you ever had a garage sale?
Nope. Don't think the people from my town would grasp the concept.

What color is your iPod?
Silver. (OK, it's not mine but it WILL BE!)

What kind of dog do you have?
A mixed breed.

Last time you were sick?
I feel a flu coming on now actually.

Who came over last?
No one comes over anymore.

Do you drink beer?
Yeah but in small amounts.

Who introduced you to your boyfriend or girlfriend?
Facebook did. LOL. Mark Zuckerberg?

Who is the last person you had a phone conversation with?
Ziad.

Whats something fun you did today?
Mmm, had a good workout, then a good lunch. Fun fun fun?

Where did you buy the shirt youre wearing now?
Online. Threadless.Com. Love it.

Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror?
Yeah an owl keychain from Anne and Ziad's old anklet.

Sorry, no better quality pictures. Phone cameras will have to suffice. Here's some pictures I've missed out on for the past months.



Painting the house, while the laundry dries.



The infinity pool at Fitness First Empire Gallery, and me in it soaking up the glory.



Sitting with Alfie on my lap. Gonna miss that dog.

What did you do this week?

It's Dad's birthday and we're snacking on TGI's tonight at Subang Parade. I wonder if I should order the Birthday Dance special? He might not appreciate it. I haven't had anything to eat since the day before and I'm starting to feel the effects. Man, I need nomnoms!

That is the victory of a COLLARBONE! Alison finally has some! HAHA. I know. I get excited easily.

Our exhibition has a name now. Adamantine2010. The poster / logo is a rework of the original which I made. I don't know who made the current poster but uh ... judge for yourself :) Hopefully everything works on on the day. Still loads to do and not enough time to do it.



Been painting the house inside and out. K, we're not painting it. We got some people to do it for us. But it's turning out really well so far! It's gonna look really chic when we're done. We're painting the front door white. Hopefully it'll look good in this humid Asian climate. The insides haven't been touched yet so it'll be a while before I put those photos up. There's still a second coat to be done on the outside. Of course, once the painters were done with their work for the day, Mum proceeded to tell me to clean up after them, to which I gave a single look:


"You serious?"

Let me just say a little something here. Something I feel we're all a little guilty of. Three words we say which has so many open ends to the term. Three words every girl wants to hear and every man tells her before she goes to sleep: I Love You.

Let's take a look at this for a second. I'm talking about the romantic version of the sentence. Not the love for a family member so now that we've got that out of the way, why do we even say this sentence to someone? To show our affection? For a sense of security knowing that person will reply in the same fashion? To end an argument, or simply to hide things? I feel as time goes by in this day and age, the term I love you no longer holds that sentimental and deep meaning in which it used to. The whole inner feeling of loving a person and knowing you'll never leave them because you want to be with them. That kind of love is rare a find these days. Disagree all you want but I have seen actual living proof that all that nonsense is just fleeting.

I guess it's not wrong for a couple to express their love for one another, if not then who would they use their "I love you"'s on? It's only natural for a human to tell another that they are loved. The feeling is good. However, there are those of us who only use it as a disguise. Husbands who wanna shut their wives up from nagging, women who wanna hide the fact that they no longer feel the same towards her man, anything. I know it's a depressing fact but it's true. How many times have you said this to someone and not mean it?

Don't worry. "I miss you SO MUCH" too. That's what you get for trusting someone.
I rest my case.

Full Size.

So far, the accepted posters are top 2nd and 3rd. I'm glad they were accepted. I suppose staying up late working DOES pay off. :)

Watched Spread with Ziad last night. I think it's our first full length film watched on a laptop. It was a very interesting and eye opening movie. I highly recommend it. However, I wouldn't watch it with your folks or anyone younger than 18 lol. But it is worth a watch. Was a great night.

This exhibition can go phuck itself.

Yeah I realise both the images above are total contradictions of each other. I'm a little confused to what I want now. Do I keep quiet and let people I love pass me by, or reach out and call them and give them a friendly smile and ask them about their day?

I had a saudade last night. Some people who had the chance to sweep me off my feet never took it. And a lot of "What If's" danced across my thoughts all night. Then I reflected upon myself. Were there people I was supposed to talk to but didn't or did? Could I have made a major change in someones life but because of my ignorance, that chance slipped past me? Could I have met someone who was supposed to change my life but I brushed them off? And because of the nature of this, that chance will never present or undo itself again? Bah, too much thinking at this time of night with the mosquitoes feasting on my feet.

It's all overthinking.

Well, I guess I'm not much of a reliable person. Folks just asked if I could pick Mum up after Uni on Tuesday at around 6 and I said I'd do it. Then they tried rescheduling her times to be picked up by Dad earlier. I asked what the issue was since I was picking her up. They went on a whole rant on how I never stick to my words when picking people up. Let's look at this case study.

1. I never don't show up.
2. If I'm late, it's not of my own doing (unless I hate you and wanna make you wait on purpose)
3. The latest I've ever (I swear to God Almighty) been to pick Mum up was 10-15 minutes.

So because of those last 2 reasons, my folks get this impression that I am not a reliable person. Good Lord (why am I using divine references today?) I don't have the time to leave an hour earlier to your location only to wait another 30 minutes for you to get out from whatever function you're attending. Furthermore, I've waited about 1.5 hours for you before to leave a shop so there's no way I'm gonna get there a whole hour earlier to wait on you. I have my own things to do too. When I'm home you complain why I don't do anything, when I have loads to do you ask why I'm never home.



Had the time to attend BodyJam today. Then slugged off another hour in the gym. If I don't lose any weight this month, I'm gonna cut someone's face open.

I have the sudden urge to own a Corgi. They have to be the cutest dogs in the world. After the Dachshund. Sadly I don't know if Ziad will let me own one if we do live together. Perhaps I can drug him into thinking we had one all along. LOL.



I think I just need to stay quiet with my decisions from now onwards. No one needs to know what goes on in my head. Of course, this is contradictory considering I have a blog and multiple social networking sites at hand. I don't mind having my opinions being heard but I would probably leave it at a "need to know" basis and most people don't need to know.

Spent the evening dancing alone in my living room to a bunch of awesome songs which I guess my neighbours know by heart now and would probably like to shoot me in the head once they get the chance. It was pretty loud haha. But I had a tonne of steam and energy I needed to burn off at the time. It was totally fun. I'd do it again for sure. Instead of alcohol, I had grape juice and H20. I think I burned off a good amount of calories doing that. Hope no one saw me. Gotta attend BodyJam tomorrow at the gym too. I think I'm getting a hang of this. I do love a good dance eventhough I can't dance to save my life ;)

Completed a shoot for my AID's advert. I need to get the Dove ones done and I'll have about 10 ads at hand. I can't wait to round up the last 5. I'm done for CAD. Of course there's the E-Journals to think about now. Shit man, this semester can go hang itself already. And the exhibition can follow it as well.

Been listening to a bunch of songs on repeat today. First of we got Arash's Broken Angel and Suddenly. If you've listened to any song by him before, I think you'll know what to expect from these but I do recommend them if you're into that whole Persian/Middle Eastern europop thing. Then we got Atif Aslam's new song Hona Tha Pyaar from the movie Bol. That's a pretty good number if you want something slow and easy. Then we speed things up again with Like a G6 from Far East Movement. Last but not least, Escape Velocity by the Chemical Brothers. Wow. All overplayed and mainstreamed but I do love a good dance song with loads of beat to it.



Random: I miss my longer hair ... wish it'd come back to me.

TIPS FOR SUCCESS ↳

• NEVER BE SOMEONE’S REBOUND.
• SHAVE YOUR LEGS. EVEN IN THE WINTER.
• WEAR DEODORANT AND PERFUME.
• NO ONE LIKES A SMELLY BIATCH.
• PRETEND YOU OWN THE FUCKING WORLD.
• BE 17 STEPS AHEAD OF EVERYONE. MAKE THEM RUN.
• BE FUCKING FABULOUS AND AWESOME AT EVERYTHING.
• FUCK EVERYTHING AND BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE.
• EAT YOUR DAMN VEGETABLES. VITAMINS MAKE YOU STRONG.
• HAVE AN IQ OVER 140. OR ACT LIKE YOU DO.
• TELL YOUR MOTHER YOU LOVE HER. SHE GAVE BIRTH TO YOU.
• LIVE YOUR LIFE IN CAPSLOCK.
• IF YOU CAN HELP IT, DON’T GO FULL RETARD.
• 

Via lostinheaven

1. What is your current mood?
Good thanks.

2. Is your family multi-racial?
Uh my immediate one isn't but the rest are.

3. Is America truly “the land of the free?”
To a certain point I guess so. It depends on what you wanna do there.

4. How much do you care about your appearance?
A lot. Not enough. But still. More than I used to.

5. Do you have a favorite period in history that you love to study?
Yeah. Greek mythology. Haha. Fine that doesn't count. But the whole Greek Mesopotamia thing was cool.

6. What are your favorite kinds of jokes?
Any kind. I'm willing to listen.

7. Do you make to-do lists?
I do. But I hardly keep up to date with em.

8. If you’re quiet for an extended period of time, what does it most likely mean?
Thinking and/or pissed.

9. Could you date a smoker?
Yes. I don't want to but I have no choice.

10. What’s your ideal job?
To be a graphic designer who works from home and earns bucket loads of cash while still able to enjoy my freelance photography. LOL. No seriously.

11. Where is your favorite place to hang out besides your house?
His house. LOL! I dunno. It depends.

12. What is a song that truly changed your life?
Khuda Jaane. LOL!

13. Do you remember the day you got your first MySpace?
God no.

14. What is one food you despise?
Mexican. No offense. It just ... beans.

15. What are your opinions on open/multi-partner relationships?
No thank you.

16. Could you care for a terminally ill person?
I dunno. I'd try all I can. I'm probably too emotional for that.

17. Do you drop your cell phone frequently?
Sometimes I chuck it too haha.

18. Name a TV show you could watch over and over on DVD.
TV show? ... Friends?

19. What brand and flavor toothpaste do you use?
Darlie/Colgate. Flavour? Durian and Nasi Lemak. My god.

20. What are your favorite kinds of books to read?
Uh, not really into reading nowadays. So im the wrong person to ask.

Calmer days have fallen as I feel like slowly slipping back to its monotonous routine. I like it like this. I don't make mistakes because I want to. They happen outside our control and some times our own mishaps. I suppose that's why they're called mistakes. I make them to grow stronger, better and quicker. I make them to learn as well. Growing up has all kinds of kinks and it's our job to sort out which ones are the ones we need to fix. Some things are better left untouched.

I'm not a materialistic person. I don't need things to make me feel happy. OK sometimes I do but that's beside the point, I actually need those things to function daily. I don't need someone to shower me with gifts or cash to earn ... whatever it is they want from me. I feel bad when people do me favours or get me things. No doubt I appreciate them loads, but I feel somewhat underachieved to get those done for me. So if you've ever done Alison a favour or gotten her something in the past, Much Appreciated.

Thanks to Muzaffar, I had my first (and probably last) Tony Roma's dinner last night along with Ziad, Faiq and Unzila. I feel bad that I didn't take any pictures. It was such a lovely (and filling) dinner. Ribs with a grilled shrimp kebab. Zomg. It was a great evening.

Where do I start? Usually I complain about University first and how horrible my life is or how I wish it would be. But for today, let's start off this post on a positive note shall we?

I have a great family who may not always see things my way but more often than not, they're patient with me and let me make my own choices most of the time. I get on their nerves and they get onto mine more times than a stray cat crosses my path on a day to day basis in Shah Alam but at the end of the day, we just ignore the argument and continue on living. Or we'll awkwardly bring up something else to talk about. It's cool.

I have great friends. I learned that over the weekend when I got myself into a little sticky situation involving liquid gold ... itu bir la. Wasn't the best sight ever but it was a fun event. I'm so grateful to have those idiots whom I call my closests with me when I go down. LOL. They've seen me grow up and have never judged me in any way whatsoever (unless you guys have then you're all bitches.) and have made mistakes alongside me. They're nothing more than an extension of myself.

Last but not least, I've got a great Ziad. He's not always around but he tries his best to do with what he can with his very little free time. I'd call it a LDR without the D part lol. He's beyond patient eventhough he snaps once in a while but is always the first one to get over the whole issue. He's practical and street smart (which has aided me a lot if you can imagine). And he can be sweet when you least expect me. Trust me, when you LEAST expect it.

On some days, I just wake up with the feeling of wanting to tell every one of these individuals that I cherish their existence and I admire their courage and potentials in this world. Sadly, if I were to do that I would probably get a lot of weird looks or I'd be assumed drunk. So, if you're reading this and I haven't told you that I really love you. I love ya'll. Thanks for sticking around to watch me grow up (and sideways) and evolve together. Cheerio.

Gym time. Aiya.

Happiness, Is a Warm Gun.

Been listening to the soundtrack of Across the Universe again. Memories from my days in Cyberjaya are flooding back. I used to lie down in my (I MISS IT) room and just waste the afternoon away in the air conditioning with the voice of Jim Sturgess and company to drift me off into my own little world. I wanna hold your hand.

Most of all, it reminds me of people I used to know a lot better in my past whom I no longer speak to. It has been a wild adventure.

Spent the evening out with everyone: Aroon, Bushan, Jonard, Zhi Wei, Iskandar, Kendrik, Kugan, Kavi, Anne, Nicole and Tracy at Picadillys. It was an amazing night. LOL.

Attended the wedding of a family friend this afternoon. It was cute. A little grand but cute nonetheless. It was held at the Victorian Ballroom in Holiday Villa Subang. :) I was amused to find out the newlyweds met on facebook too. The groom was funny enough to thank Mark Zuckerberg in his speech.

Most of all, I am grateful for you

There must be a limit to how tired a person can feel. Good night world. Don't screw me over tomorrow. I've been kind so far.

Just found out we need to have 2k worth of a personal essay done for Des. Reflective tomorrow. Am I glad I got this done a week ago. Booyakasha. Now it's time to freak out about the remaining assignments. 4 weeks left of uni. Cannot. Wait.

Dunno how. Dunno where. I am going out tonight. I need to get my head out from the deep sludge I place myself into.

I hate certain people in university. The term 'friends' is such a lie. No one's your friend. They're just there to mooch of you and you them till you graduate then you never see each other again. Maybe that's a good thing. There are some people who you're never meant to see again. It's a mistake. Move on. Do not dwell on the goddamn past. There's new things to see when you're moving forward. Sometimes there's some mistakes you can't undo. I remembered that today while talking to Nabs in uni. Some people you can't un-know (unless you live in a facebook reality) and some actions you can't take back. I know how it feels. We all do. That simple regret never really goes away. As much as we'd like to think we've moved on from the past, there are moments in our lives when a certain image/word or sound may remind us of that time where we were blissfully "happy" in our ignorance.



Anyway, will stop eating for the next 2 weeks :(

So here's a lesson learned today. Do not park in an unmarked area in Limkokwing. Well you can lah but you pay the price (RM30 in fact) if a traffic cop happens to drop by. Yep. There goes a months worth of credit for me. KANASA-

Had the strangest moment today while officially switching over to Digi. I looked at my phone and felt SAD! It was as though as I had cheated on Maxis and hooked up with Digi for something cheap. Haha. Phone hooker. The next obstacle, was to change Ziads number to the Digi one. It was ... I dunno; strange. You met this person with this number and it holds so many memories. I couldn't do it. So it has officially become 'Ziad Maxis' in my phone lol. In a nutshell, I had nostalgia issues which I couldn't get over. Bite me :D

I've been listening to XxCrazyn3ssxX's stuff all night and it's giving me the biggest trip ever. I'm not high at all. It's just good music. That and Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP - We No Speak Americano. My night is made.

via somethingnice2

Today, I got rid of the pink I had on my nails and replaced it with something as equally robust: Zebra prints! I got myself a thin metal nail art bottle of black just for this purpose. Of course I will experiment more than with just zebra patterns.


NOTD: Mmm gold! Now there's an idea.


fuckyeahprettynails: I wanna try at least 8 out of these.



Finally got myself a new Simcard. Adieu Maxis. It's been a fun 4+ years.